You sound confused. However, your positive words about your wife demonstrate the peace, mercy and compassion that exist in your relationship. Conversely, your negative feelings are sinful thoughts which Satan is using to try to destroy your marriage. Our Prophet (PBUH) said:

" إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ تُنْكَحُ عَلَى دِينِهَا وَمَالِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا فَعَلَيْكَ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ  " (translation: A woman is married on account of four things; on account of her religion, on account of her wealth, on account of her beauty, and the nobility of her family, and on account of her character).

Despite the reasons for your marriage, you must remember that Allah blessed you with a wife and you must ask him to help you to fight Satan. You must not be unfair and punish your wife. As a true Muslim you will recognise your wife’s virtues:

"لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَة إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَر " (translation: A believer must not hate his wife, and if he is displeased with one bad quality in her, then let him be pleased with one that is good in her).

Try to think positively about your relationship and ask Allah to unite your hearts in love.

Sheikh, Hamdi Amin